The Boyman

He's not a boy anymore. But that doesn't mean he's a man. — Marcos from The Inexplicable Logic Of My Life by Benjamin Alire Saenz

***

Those are frightening days when you hear
About the strongest people
And their biggest fear

They say to me they fear no one, but I know
Fears filling in their veins
They'd never show

Discovered a precious diary, yesterday night
Kept disguised, without a name
Slyly, just out of sight

It had white sparkling pages, so new
As if I picked it right after
They threw

Had a say about his ugly teenage years
Talked of face zits, hairstyles and flab
Teenage affairs and peers

And of being led into silence, willful and astray
Burying, layering, and again
The urge to disobey

The beauty of silence is it's ability to adapt
Into crowds and lonely corners
For having you dead trapped

He made a false pledge to resist, to be strong
I knew he'd never be able to
Oh boyman, I was wrong

The words vowed of more suffering and pain
More fight this time perhaps
And to stand up once again

I kept back the diary, the diary without a name
To read back those thoughts later one day
My thoughts, which I could not claim